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I was in a drugged haze ... I couldn’t tell if I was awake or
asleep.
All I knew was that I was hearing a voice.
“Yeah ... yeah ... no! Aren’t you listening to me?”
Somewhere in my brain, I registered the voice as AJ’s.
“I’m not leaving .... I don’t fucking care about the concert ...”
Who was he talking to? Oh, yeah ... the phone.
“Fuck off ... no ... wait ... you don’t really expect me to leave
her
here, alone, do you?”
Her ... that would be me.
“I can’t ... god fucking dammit ... don’t do th ... no, I don’t
want that
either ... no, I don’t want to ...”
He was silent for a moment. The person on the other end
of the
phone was reading him the riot act, I guessed. Finally, I heard
him again.
“Yeah ... yeah ... whatever ... send the fucking bus ... no ... I said
send it,
already! Don’t fucking preach to me ... yeah ... okay, yeah,
see ya.”
I opened my eyes ... obviously, I wasn’t dreaming. The room
was
dark -- I turned my head to see AJ sitting in a chair next to the bed.
His
frown deepened when he saw me looking at him. “Oh, shit, I didn’t
mean
to wake you ...”
“That’s okay,” I said.
He leaned over and put his hand on mine. “Tori ...”
“You have to go to Philadelphia,” I finished for him.
“Yeah ... fuck it, you’re alone here! I don’t want to leave
you like
this ...”
I managed a small smile. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about
me. You
need to go do your concert.”
“Yeah, I know ... our tour manager just chewed my ear off, not
only
for wanting to stay, but for leaving in the first place.”
“Everyone was probably worried about you,” I pointed out.
“Yeah ... but I’m a big boy, last time I checked.” When
I chuckled,
he grinned and playfully slapped my hand. “I didn’t mean *that*
...”
“Well ... seriously ... go. I’ll be fine here. Besides,
I’d never forgive
myself if I caused some kind of teenage riot in Philadelphia ... I
can see the
headline now -- “20,000 pre-pubescent girls loot the arena in a fit
of anger
when Backstreet Boy AJ McLean neglects to show up for a concert.”
How
would I live with that on my conscience?”
He sighed, but the grin remained. “I guess you’re right
... but damn,
I just don’t feel right either way, no matter what I do.”
“Just don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl, too.”
AJ shook his head, lifting my hand to his lips gallantly.
“You
should probably go back to sleep ... the nurse let me stay here very
reluctantly. If she realizes I woke you up, she’ll kick me out.”
Despite myself, I yawned. The drugs were still in my system.
“Okay ...”
I felt his eyes on me as I drifted back into unconsciousness.
~~~~
“Good morning, Victoria!”
I woke to find the cheery nurse from the day before standing at
my
bedside. I turned my head -- the chair next to me was empty.
“Where’s
AJ?” I asked.
“He left early this morning ... he left that for you.” She
pointed to
the table next to my bed, where a piece of paper sat.
The nurse -- Leah -- helped me raise my bed to a sitting position,
and I grabbed the paper. Slowly, I began to read the scrawling
handwriting.
“Tori -
I wish I didn’t have to leave you like this. I’m going to
worry,
even though they told me you only have a mild concussion, and
should be released in a day or so.
There’s so much I want to say to you, because part of me is afraid
that when I walk out of this hospital, I’ll never see you again.
I
can’t even begin to tell you how much the past few days have
meant
to me. I was so burned out ... I needed someone to remind
me of
what living is all about. I needed the break -- and the
love -- you
gave me.
Don’t ever give that asshole back in Kansas City a second thought.
He’s a fool for not realizing what he had right in front of him.
If
you want or need someone to treat you right, you come find me.
I’ll give you everything in my world. That’s strange for
me to say ...
I’ve never felt like this about someone so fast in my life.
But, I’m
an impulsive person. I suppose love at first sight was
bound to
happen to me eventually.
Anyway -- don’t worry about your medical bills, or anything.
I
I paid for it all. Stay as long as you need to recover.
When you’re
ready to leave, though, if you want to, call me. My cel
phone
number is below -- we’re playing New York on Thursday, Friday,
and Saturday -- I’d love to show you the town, if you feel up
to it.
I guess I just want to know that you’re not going to disappear
from
my life as quickly as you entered it.
Get well soon ...
Love, AJ.”
Leah was looking at me when I finished. “Love letter?”
“Yeah ...”
A tear slipped down my cheek, and I wished desperately that AJ
was
there to hug. I had to settle for my pillow.
