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We made it another hundred miles before something occurred to
me. “Ohmigod,” I cried, startling AJ. “We have to stop
somewhere -- I
need to make a phone call!”
AJ immediately reached down into his duffel bag and pulled out
a
cel phone. “Here, use this.”
“It’s long distance, though,” I protested.
“That’s okay, use it anyway.”
He shoved the phone into my hand. “Okay,” I agreed, “but
I still
need to pull over somewhere.”
I found a small rest stop at the side of the highway and pulled
in. I
left AJ lighting a cigarette at the back of the car while I wandered
about a
hundred feet away, phone in hand. This was not going to be a
pleasant
phone call.
I dialed the number. Three rings ... I thought I might get
by with the
answering machine. But, no in the middle of the fourth ring ..
“Hello?”
“Mom? It’s me.”
“Victoria? Wow, haven’t heard from you in over a week.
How’s it
going?”
I cringed, but merely said, “It’s been better.”
“Oh, really? What’s wrong?”
“It’s a long story ...”
“Tell me anyway.” Uh-oh, I though, I’ve set her Mom radar
off.
She knows something’s seriously wrong.
“Well ... I’m kind of on someone else’s phone, I can’t run up
their
bill,” I hedged.
“Then tell me when you’ll be home, and I’ll call you back then.
You can tell me on my time.”
“Uh ... well ... that’s just it. I’m not home. As
a matter of fact, I’m
in Indiana.”
“INDIANA???” I was sure the people at the end of the cul-de-sac
had heard her shout. “What are you doing there?”
“Like I said, it’s a long story.”
“Oh, no, Victoria, you’re not giving me that. What’s going
on that
you’re in Indiana? What about your new job? Are you with
Steve?”
“Mom ... well, first of all, I kind of didn’t take the new job.
And,
Steve ... I ... God, Mom, I just ...” I was starting to cry.
Dammit.
“Victoria, baby, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?
You know,
whatever happened, I’ll help you however I can.” Her voice was
trembling.
That was it -- I broke down completely. “I just left!” I
blubbered.
“All I have is my clothes ... I packed them up and left! I didn’t
... he didn’t
... I couldn’t ...” I couldn’t even complete a sentence.
I couldn’t tell her
about Steve, and about Heather, and about Sarah ... I just couldn’t
tell her.
“Baby, where are you? Are you near an airport? I can
have your
dad wire you money for a plane ticket home ...” God bless my
mother --
she’s the source of my practical, dependable side.
I considered her offer for a second, then looked over at my car,
where AJ was watching me from his seat on the trunk of the car.
I wiped at
my tears, trying to pull myself together. “No, I’m okay, really,”
I said to my
mother, attempting to convince myself as much as her. “I just
... wanted
you to know where I was. You know, so you didn’t try to call
my old place
and get Steve. Really, I’ll be fine ...”
She wasn’t convinced. “But, you’re in Indiana. Why
are you in
Indiana?”
“I just kind of ended up here. Really, Mom ... I’m borrowing
someone’s cel phone, and I don’t want to run up his bill. I’ll
call you
tomorrow, okay?”
“If you ... call collect, okay?”
“I will. Bye, Mom ... I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I regretted calling her. Now, she and my dad were going
to worry
about me until they heard the whole story ... I didn’t mean to burden
them
like that.
AJ was leaning against the car when I walked back. Without
a
word, he surprised me by reaching over and wiping a stray tear from
my
cheek. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to
break down like
that ...”
“Don’t worry about it.”
We fell silent as I watched a family pile out of an Explorer on
the
other side of my car, chattering excitedly. The scene just made
me think of
my parents again ... and I felt the tears return before I could stop
them.
Suddenly, I felt myself drawn closer to AJ -- his arms slid around
my waist as he hugged me close. Instinctively, I buried my face
in his
shoulder and sobbed. “It’s okay,” he murmured softly, into my
hair.
It wasn’t okay, but it felt a little closer to it when he was
holding
me.
