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After a few minutes, my sobs subsided and I lifted my head,
sniffling. “Oh, god ... I didn’t mean ...”
AJ smiled at me, using his thumb to wipe the tears off my chin.
“Like I said, don’t worry about it.”
I chuckled as I sniffled again. “You’re probably wondering
‘why
the hell did I come on this trip with a psycho chick like this?’”
“Nah ... I’ve seen more psycho than you. As a matter of
fact, I’ve
been more psycho than you,” he teased.
I wiped at my face, realizing that his arms were still around
my
waist. I was also beginning to realize that I liked being close
to him ... his
body was firm, and warm, and as my hysteria subsided, I noticed a distinct
warmth spreading in my own body.
I pulled away. “Thank you,” I said sincerely, turning away
to mask
the warmth on my cheeks.
“Any time.” AJ looked at his watch. “It’s past lunch
time, do you
want to go find something to eat?”
“Sure ... I think I saw a sign for a McDonald’s off the next exit.”
His eyes lit up. “Cool! Let’s go, then ...”
Once we were seated at the restaurant, I leaned my elbows on the
table and looked at him. We’d learned a little about each other
in the few
hours we’d been on the road ... I knew that he was a singer, and that
his
mother raised him by herself, and that he loved R&B music.
Basic things; I
wanted to know more, though. “So, you’re touring as a singer,
right?” I
asked.
“Yeah ... I’m part of a group.”
“What kind of music do you sing?”
“Pop, with an R&B flavor, mostly.”
“Ah ... you guys must be doing pretty well, considering the bus
I saw
you in back in Illinois.”
He smiled mysteriously. “Yeah, we do okay for ourselves.
I’m just
really lucky to be able to make my living like this.”
“I’ll say ... It must be neat to be able to do what you really
love for a
living.”
AJ raised his eyebrows. “And, Tori Reynolds, what is it
that *you*
really love to do?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea. That’s part of my problem,
I guess --
sometimes I think I have no idea who I really am. That I’m just
going
through the motions, and not really living.”
“That’s not good. Me, I can’t *not* live, if that makes
any sense. I
have to do crazy stuff, stuff that other people think is insane, because
I
wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I held back.”
I pondered that for a moment. “But, then, how do you live
with
yourself if something you do turns out to be wrong?”
“You can’t live with that fear. If you make a mistake, you
just
learn, that’s all.”
It sounded simple to me -- much simpler than it was to actually
practice. “I wish I could live that way.”
He grinned. “You need to start. Come on, I’ll show
you ...” He
stood up and tugged at my arm.
I let him pull me up. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see. Come on!”
