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Once I’d thrown on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, I opened the
door
for AJ. “You’re faster than I expected,” I complained.
“Sorry, but my mom always taught me to never keep a lady
waiting,” he said, winking.
I rolled my eyes at him. “Uh-huh. Anyway, I still
need to brush my
hair, so why don’t you check the phone book for a pizza place that
delivers
all the way out here?”
Back in the bathroom, I listened to him humming as he flipped
through the phone book. I pulled a brush through my hair slowly,
more
interested in hearing his voice than watching my reflection in the
mirror.
After a moment, he called into me. “Found one -- what kind
of
pizza do you like?”
“I don’t know, anything except mushrooms or anchovies. Whatever
you want to order.”
He was ordering a supreme pizza, hold the mushrooms, when I came
back out. I grabbed the TV guide and flopped down on the bed.
“So, what
are we going to watch?” I asked him when he was off the phone.
AJ moved over next to me to read over my shoulder. I could
feel his
breath on my cheek ... it was very disconcerting. “I don’t know
-- maybe
‘Erotic Vampires’?” He pointed at the title over my shoulder.
I looked up at him to make sure he was kidding. He grinned
mischievously at me. “What, you don’t like adult movies?” he
asked.
“Not exactly ...” I could feel myself blushing at the thought.
“I’m kidding,” he clarified. “What else do they have playing?”
I showed him the listings, feeling a bizarre disappointment.
My
nerves were still on end from fantasizing in the shower ... the mention
of the
sexual movie had just worsened things, I guessed.
We finally chose a movie I’d already seen, a recent romantic
comedy. As a matter of fact, Steve, Heather and I had gone to
see it
together. If I’d only known then ... as a matter of fact, I recalled
them
whispering to each other more than they whispered to me. That
had gone
on a lot. Why hadn’t I read the signs?
I stretched out on my stomach after the pizza came, munching and
watching the movie. While he ate, AJ sat back on one of the pillows,
but
once he was done, he joined me at the other end of the bed.
“You know,” I said finally, turning to him, “this movie isn’t
as
funny as I remembered it being.”
“No, it’s not,” he agreed. “It’s kind of boring, actually.”
“Oh, well, that’s $20 down the drain,” I sighed. “Maybe
‘Erotic
Vampires’ would have been a better choice.”
He laughed. “You can never go wrong with the pornos ...
at the very
least, you might learn a new position or something.”
Blushing again, I busied myself by putting the pizza box on the
floor. “So ... can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“I know you didn’t want to talk about it earlier, but ... why
did you
come with me?”
Sighing, AJ put his chin down on his hands. “It’s ... hard
to explain.
I told you I’m touring with my group, right? I love it, don’t
get me wrong --
the stage is the only place I’ve ever really felt at home. Let
me perform for
an audience, and I’m the happiest guy alive. But ... I don’t
know, I’ve been
restless lately. I tour with the same guys, all the time; we’ve
been on the
road, with only one real significant break, for the better part of
two years.
You get sick of seeing the same old faces all the time, no matter how
much
you love them.”
When he paused, I nodded encouragement. “Yeah ... it’s like
hanging out with the same people all the time, right? You hang
out because
you like them, but sometimes, you want some variety.”
“Exactly. And I used to have people back in Orlando that
I could
turn to for variety. A couple of good friends, my girlfriend.
But, those
good friends have turned out to not be so good, and I broke up with
my
girlfriend a few months ago. We’re still friends, supposedly,
but she’s
dating again, and the last thing she really wants is her ex calling
her up out
of the blue, interrupting a date or something. I guess I just
suddenly
realized that, outside of my family, I have no one in Orlando.
It feels
lonely.”
I rolled onto my side and peered at him. Our situations
were vastly
different, but in the end, it sounded like we were feeling the same
way. “I
understand, more than you know,” I said softly.
He turned his head to look at me. “The worst of it, though,
is that I
started pushing away the guys in the group -- the only people I have
left
outside of my family. This morning ... god, was it only this
morning? It
feels like a long time ago ... anyway, this morning, I got into a fight
with
one of the guys. I think I gave him a black eye; the woman who
does our
makeup is going to kill me. The fight was just over stupid shit
-- I don’t
even remember why I was so mad. I was just depressed, I guess,
and I took
it out on Nicky. That’s why I was eating by myself ... I was
still pissed, and
I didn’t want to have to look at him.”
“You just needed to get away for a few days, then ...”
“Yeah, and you gave me the perfect excuse.” He smiled at
me.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You know, like I said before, I don’t usually
make it a habit to pick up strange guys.”
“I’m stranger than most,” he joked.
“Well, you’re stranger than most of the people I know,” I agreed.
The movie had finished while we talked, leaving static on the
television. AJ reached over and flipped it off. “You’re
easy to talk to, you
know that?”
“Yeah, that’s what they tell me,” I said, an edge of bitterness
creeping into my voice. “The problem is, hardly anyone ever listens
to
what *I* have to say.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I’m here, if you need someone to listen.”
For a split second, I opened my mouth to talk. It might
feel better to
get it all out in the open ... but, I closed it again. “Thanks
... but maybe
tomorrow. It still hurts too much to think about, much less say.”
AJ sat up. “I understand ...” Leaning over, he lightly
brushed his
lips against my cheek. The barest touch ... but it was electric,
jolting my
already sensitive nerves into overdrive. “I’m gonna go to bed
-- I’ll see you
in the morning.”
I didn’t want him to go -- not only were my hormones in overdrive,
but his very presence kept me from dwelling on my own problems.
But, I
merely smiled at him and watched as he walked out the door.
Damn him for being a gentleman, anyway. And damn me for
being
overly shy. I was left alone with my own demons.
