Alone in my room, I stared at the phone. I really should
call
someone in Kansas City, I thought, and let them know where I am.
But,
who? Steve? Not in this lifetime. Heather?
I snorted. Sarah? Maybe.
I picked up the phone after a moment’s hesitation. I still
hadn’t
forgiven Sarah, but she was still the logical choice to call.
I dialed her
number slowly.
She picked up on the first ring. “Steve? Is that you?”
I winced. “No, it’s Victoria.”
“VICTORIA!!” she shouted. “Jesus Christ, we’ve been looking
everywhere for you! Where the hell are you?”
“Indiana.”
“Say that again?”
“I’m in Indiana.”
“What the hell are you doing there?”
“I don’t know. I just got in the car and drove, and somehow
ended
up here.”
“You just ... Victoria, you don’t sound like yourself.”
“Oh, gee, really?” I asked sarcastically. “Maybe I should
just come
back and let Steve and Heather keep playing me for a fool, huh?”
She sighed. “I told them you knew. They feel really bad.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful. Really bad doesn’t even begin to
cover how
I feel, so forgive me if I’m not sympathetic.”
“You know me. I got them to ‘really bad’, and now I’m working
on
‘scum of the earth.’ I’ll let you know when I get there.”
I squeezed my pillow tight to work out some anger. “You
can spare
me the outrage right now, Sarah. If you really felt badly about
it, you would
have told me the minute you knew they were sleeping with each other.”
She was silent for a moment. “But ... I didn’t exactly *know.*
I had
a feeling, but I didn’t want to cause problems if I was wrong.
I didn’t have
any proof until you told me you’d seen them.”
“You were supposed to be my best friend, Sarah. If you thought
my
boyfriend was fooling around on me, you should have told me.”
“I am your best friend, still, Victoria. Aren’t I?”
“I don’t know.” I was on the verge of tears again.
“Listen ... I’ve
gotta go. I just wanted to let someone know I was alive.
Tell Steve and
Heather to fuck off and die for me, will you?”
“Victoria, wait ...”
“No, I’ve gotta go. Bye, Sarah.”
I hung up the phone and threw my pillow across the room.
Then,
automatically, I got up and went to the door. I couldn’t think
about this
alone, I just couldn’t.