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I knocked softly on AJ’s door, not wanting to wake him if he was
already asleep. Luckily, though, he opened the door right away,
wearing
nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. “Tori? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry ... I don’t want to bother you, but ... can I come in?”
“Sure ...”
As I walked past him, I noticed gratefully that his bed was turned
down, but not used -- I hadn’t woken him up. “I think ...” I
began, but
couldn’t find the words I wanted to use. Finally, after a moment,
I turned
back to him and blurted, “Do you want to know why I’m here? Why
I’m on
this trip?”
He nodded, motioning for me to sit on the bed. “Yeah, tell me.”
I sank onto the bed, and he sat next to me, his hand on my leg.
“I’m
here ... because ...” I put my hands to my head and groaned with
frustration. “Because I caught my boyfriend and one of my best
friends in
bed together ... because my other best friend didn’t tell me that she
suspected they were sleeping together ... nobody in Kansas City gave
a rat’s
ass about me, so I left!” I shouted. Suddenly, I realized
it was too late to be
that loud, so I covered my face with my hands. “God, I’m not
making any
sense, am I?”
“No, actually, you are ... your boyfriend was cheating on you?
Bastard.” AJ put his arm around my shoulder. I leaned my
head against
him, grateful for the support.
“It wasn’t just that he was cheating on me,” I said slowly.
“It was
that he was with Heather ... Heather, who always managed to make me
feel
ugly and inferior anyway. Miss Perfect, with her perfect clothes
and perfect
makeup and perfect smile ... who always managed to tell me what was
wrong with the way I looked. Who pretended to be my friend.
I thought
she cared about me. That’s why I listened when she told me how
plain and
ordinary I was.”
“Ordinary? Now, granted, I’ve only known you a day, but
‘ordinary’
is not a word I would use to describe you ...”
I managed a smile. “Thanks ... but, next to her, I was plain
and
ordinary. I thought she was glamorous ... I let her try to make
me over a
couple of times, but she gave up. I just couldn’t pull off high
style.
Anyway, my boyfriend, Steve, is working on his master’s degree in English
-- I’m not all that educated, school-wise, so I never could carry on
discussions like he wanted. Sometimes he made me feel so stupid,
like a
complete nothing. Heather knew things, though, and they talked
for hours
about subjects that I didn’t even recognize. God -- I should
have seen the
signs for myself!”
“Don’t blame yourself,” AJ told me. “If you make a promise
to
someone, you’re supposed to keep it. It’s their fault.”
“Yeah, I know, but I can’t believe I was so blind ... I mean,
we
hadn’t even had sex in ...” I trailed off. The realization
hit me -- here I
was, sitting on a bed with a sexy, mostly naked man ... it was suddenly
very
hard to concentrate on Steve and Heather.
AJ put a finger under my chin and tipped it up so that I was looking
him in the eyes. “Okay, listen to me,” he said softly.
“Steve is a complete
idiot. Any guy who would make a girl like you miserable isn’t
even worth
the time to think about.”
“Uh-huh,” was all I could manage. His eyes were so dark
... I was
lost in them.
“I don’t understand guys who do that ... I would never treat a
girl ...
you ... like that,” he murmured.
The mood had shifted so completely that I wasn’t even surprised
when his lips met mine. I was surprised, however, by the passion
that
surged through my body. The minute he kissed me, I wanted every
bit of
him, body and soul ... his lips were warm and soft, and teased mine
gently,
making me shudder with need. I put a hand on his chest and another
behind
his neck, while he put his other arm around me and pulled me closer.
His
unshaven chin scraped at my cheek, somehow making me feel erotic and
decadent ... everything about him, from the lingering scent of his
cologne to
the way his hands held my waist, felt more feral and male than Steve
had
ever been.
Steve ... my mind cleared. What was I doing? I pulled
back
slightly, and watched AJ open his eyes and look at me. Oh, god,
was there
sex in those eyes ... I’d never felt so horny in all my life.
I felt my
inhibitions melting again ... but, just as I was ready to kiss him
again, he
sighed and let me go. “I’m sorry ... that probably wasn’t the
right thing to
do,” he apologized.
“I ... um ...” I stammered. Right? Maybe not.
But it had felt so
good ...
“You should probably go back to bed, before ... well, we should
both probably get some sleep.” He sighed.
It stung. I knew it wasn’t really a rejection, but it felt
like one. I felt
plain and ordinary again, when I’d actually felt sexy just moments
earlier.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” I muttered, getting up. I
felt his eyes
on me as I walked out the door, but I didn’t turn around. I would
have
made a fool of myself if I’d looked in his eyes again, I just knew
it.
